Food For Your Soul

Live in the sunshine

by David Jeremiah, Baptist Press

EL CAJON, Calif. (BP)—Even when we don't understand our present circumstances, we can walk in the light. As the song says, "Farther along we'll know all about it. Farther along we'll understand why. Cheer up, my brother, live in the sunshine. We'll understand it all by and by." That's the whole lesson of the Book of Job—trust Him!

In times of suffering, choose to walk in the light, to "cheer up" and "live in the sunshine." We mind our attitude by minding our thoughts, for as a person thinks in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7). "You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You" (Isaiah 26:3). Jeremiah faced cruel days, but deliberately turned his thoughts to God's unfailing compassion and great faithfulness. "This I recall to mind," he wrote, "therefore I have hope" (Lamentations 3:21-24).

One of the greatest discoveries of psychology is that it's our thoughts which determine our emotions—not feelings which control thoughts. Suppose you found out a friend was treating you to a two-week vacation. Would that influence your emotions? Or you learned a loved one was rushed to the hospital, would that affect your feelings?

Suppose you learned that Jesus Christ is the Light, and that in Him is no darkness. Suppose you wrapped your mind around that. It would bring sunshine into the darkest corners of your world.

John quoted Jesus as saying, "I am the light of the world.... I have come as a light into the world, that whoever believes in Me should not abide in darkness" (John 9:5, 12:46). John later told us to walk in the light (1 John 1:7). That knowledge in our minds brings hope and joy to our souls.

When our minds dwell on Jesus as the light, heavenly sunshine can pour into our souls. Our joy doesn't depend on the events that surround us, but on the hope that's within us. Our real life is with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3). It isn't our external situation, but our internal Savior that determines our attitude in life. "But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head" (Psalm 3:3).

Praise and thanksgiving are not emotions that we fall into, but attitudes we choose to exhibit. Some say praise happens when a certain level of emotional intensity is reached, resulting in an explosion in our spirit. But what do we do when everything's going wrong?

We offer the sacrifices of praise and thanksgiving to the Lord as an act of obedience. We make a decision amidst difficulty that no matter what happens, we'll praise God and walk in the sunshine. That allows attitudes of peace and joy (we could never have engendered in our own strength) to come to our spirits in response to our obedience.

I've had people who have gone through difficult times say to me, "Pastor, I've never loved God more than I do now. God allowed this to happen, and I don't know why. But there is such peace in trusting Him with the unexplained. I don't understand it, but I sense God's presence in my life more than ever."

When we trust God with the unexplained, sunshine floods our minds and souls—and our faces, too.

The Psalmist said, "They looked to Him and were radiant" (Psalm 34:5). The Bible recommends a sunny countenance. Solomon wrote, "A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance" and "A man's wisdom makes his face shine, and the sternness of his face is changed" (Proverbs 15:13; Ecclesiastes 8:1).

D.A. Benton talks about the importance of the countenance in communicating confidence and leadership. She says women who smiled in their college yearbook photos went on to live happier lives with happier marriages and fewer personal setbacks than those who didn't.

If you're confused by life, trust God anyway. Read His promises, and remember:

Farther along we'll know all about it.

Farther along we'll understand why;

Cheer up my brother, live in the sunshine

We'll understand it all by and by.

Behaviors That Increase Self-Esteem

By Denis Waitley (from The Psychology of Motivation)

Following are six behaviors that increase self-esteem, enhance your self-confidence, and spur your motivation. You may recognize some of them as things you naturally do in your interactions with other people. But if you don't, I suggest you motivate yourself to take some of these important steps.

First, greet others with a smile and look them directly in the eye. A smile and direct eye contact convey confidence born of self-respect. In the same way, answer the phone pleasantly whether at work or at home, and when placing a call, give your name before asking to speak to the party you want to reach. Leading with your name underscores that a person with self-respect is making the call.

Second, always show real appreciation for a gift or compliment. Don't downplay or sidestep expressions of affection or honor from others. The ability to accept or receive is a universal mark of an individual with solid self-esteem.

Third, don't brag. It's almost a paradox that genuine modesty is actually part of the capacity to gracefully receive compliments. People who brag about their own exploits or demand special attention are trying to build themselves up in the eyes of others—and that's because they don't perceive themselves as already worthy of respect.

Fourth, don't make your problems the centerpiece of your conversation. Talk positively about your life and the progress you're trying to make. Be aware of any negative thinking, and take notice of how often you complain. When you hear yourself criticize someone—and this includes self-criticism—find a way to be helpful instead of critical.

Fifth, respond to difficult times or depressing moments by increasing your level of productive activity. When your self-esteem is being challenged, don't sit around and fall victim to "paralysis by analysis." The late Malcolm Forbes said, "Vehicles in motion use their generators to charge their own batteries. Unless you happen to be a golf cart, you can't recharge your battery when you're parked in the garage!"

Sixth, choose to see mistakes and rejections as opportunities to learn. View a failure as the conclusion of one performance, not the end of your entire career. Own up to your shortcomings, but refuse to see yourself as a failure. A failure may be something you have done—and it may even be something you'll have to do again on the way to success—but a failure is definitely not something you are.

Even if you're at a point where you're feeling very negatively about yourself, be aware that you're now ideally positioned to make rapid and dramatic improvement. A negative self-evaluation, if it's honest and insightful, takes much more courage and character than the self-delusions that underlie arrogance and conceit. I've seen the truth of this proven many times in my work with athletes. After an extremely poor performance, a team or an individual athlete often does much better the next time out, especially when the poor performance was so bad that there was simply no way to shirk responsibility for it. Disappointment, defeat, and even apparent failure are in no way permanent conditions unless we choose to make them so. On the contrary, these undeniably painful experiences can be the solid foundation on which to build future success.

Growing with Change

Jim Clemmer

Change happens. And while we can't control much of the world changing around us, we can control how we respond. We can choose to anticipate and embrace changes, or resist them. Resisting change is like trying to push water upstream.

Generally we're quick to point to others who resist change. It's much harder to recognize or admit to our own change resistance.

Some people call change "progress" and celebrate the improvements that it brings. Others curse those same changes and wish for the good old days. Same changes, different responses. The choice is ours: We can be leaders, or we can be followers.

To embrace change, we need to concentrate on five areas.

1. Focus on a vision. Our vision or imagination guides everything we do. Helen Keller once said, "Nothing is more tragic than someone who has sight, but no vision." We can't leave the incredible magnetic power of vision unharnessed. Our thoughts often pull us toward the reasons why we can't succeed, rather than the many reasons we can. To increase our effectiveness, we need to consciously attract into our lives what we truly want. We need to ensure the picture of our future is what we prefer, not the dark images of our fears, doubts, and insecurities. Personal, team, or organizational improvement starts with "imagineering."

We find what we focus upon. Whether I think my world is full of richness and opportunity or garbage and despair—I am right. It's exactly like that because that's my point of focus. Our vision is led by a set of core values. Without a strong set of core values, passion is weak and commitment is soft. We're more likely to lead ourselves from the outside in, rather than the inside out. How we see the world is what we project from ourselves.

2. Choose your outlook. We reach another milestone in our growth when we accept responsibility for our emotions. We choose to lose our temper. We choose to become jealous. We choose to harbor hatred. It's much easier to give in to the Victimitis Virus. It's less painful to believe that anger, jealousy, or bitterness are somebody else's fault or beyond our control. But that makes us prisoners of our destructive emotions. We hold grudges, let resentments build, and become cynical. We stress ourselves out. We stew in our own deadly juices.

Holding on to destructive emotions is slow suicide. Studies show that stress from negative emotions presents a more dangerous risk factor for cancer and heart disease than smoking cigarettes or high cholesterol foods. We must take responsibility for our actions in response to circumstances for which we are not responsible. The only thing we can control is ourselves, so when we choose our thoughts, we are choosing our future.

3. Seek authenticity. To create something we must be something. For example, becoming a parent is easy; being one is tough. We can't teach our kids self-discipline unless we are self-disciplined. We can't help build strong teams unless we are strong team players ourselves.

This timeless principle applies to every facet of our lives. We can't help develop a close community if we're not a good neighbor. We can't enjoy a happy marriage if we're not a loving partner. We won't have a supportive network of friends or colleagues until we're a supportive friend or collaborative colleague. David Whyte writes, "All things change when we do."

The big (and often painful) question is: What do I need to change about me to help change them? Instead of just wishing for a change of circumstance, I may need a change of character. Good intentions are useless if they stop there. One big difference between most people and authentic leaders, is action. Real leaders make it happen.

4. Commit ourselves with discipline. A key difference between real leaders and those who struggle to get by, is self-discipline. As Confucius wrote, "The nature of people is always the same; it is their habits that separate them."

Successful people have formed the habits of doing those things that most people don't want to do. Good and bad habits are tiny, daily choices that accumulate. Like a child that grows a little each day, our tiny choices accumulate without much notice. By the time we realize we have either a good or a bad habit, the habit has us.

Most of our daily choices are made automatically without even thinking about them. To change our habits, we first need to be aware of them. Then we need to work backward from the habit to the daily practices that form it. To change the habit, we need to change those practices.

Still, if discipline is a key to success, the fact is that most people would rather pick the lock. Less successful people can't pass up instant gratification in favor of some prospective benefit. It's much easier to live for the moment and let tomorrow take care of itself. But it takes discipline to forego the immediately pleasurable, for an investment in the future.

Discipline means having the vision to see the long-term picture and keep things in balance. A Chinese proverb teaches: "If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow." We all want more patience—and we want it now! Most of us would like to be delivered from temptation, but we'd like it to stay in touch. Discipline is what keeps us going when the excitement of first beginning a task is long past.

5. Continually grow and develop. Most people see others as they are; a leader sees them as they could be. Leaders see beyond the current problems and limitations to help others see their own possibilities. It's a key part of their own growth and development.

We continue to grow when we help others grow and develop. The cycle of growth and development has two parts, and the first is our own growth and development, since we can't develop others if our own growth is stunted. These two parts depend upon and support each other. We develop ourselves while we're developing others. By developing others, we develop ourselves. It's a growth cycle that spirals forever upward.

Another part of the growth process is seeking to be more effective. As the pace of change quickens, it's easier to fall into the trap of confusing busyness with effectiveness. Like the wood-cutter who's too busy chopping to stop and sharpen his ax, we get caught up in a frantic pace that may be taking us to the wrong destination. Reflecting on our progress is as rare as a proud man asking for directions. But to be more effective, we need to step back, take time out, and assess our direction. It will help us grow and keep up with change.

Change forces choices. If we're on the grow, we'll embrace many changes and find the positive in them. It's all in where we choose to put our focus. Even change that hits us in the side of the head as a major crisis can be full of growth opportunities—if we choose to look for them.

Many people who have weathered a serious crisis, look back years later and point to that event as a significant turning point. Most would rather not go through that pain again, but it was a key part of their growth.

Crisis can be a danger that weakens or destroys us. Or crisis can be a growth opportunity. The choice is ours. Whichever we choose, we're right about that crisis. We make it our reality.

The point is, change is life. Successfully dealing with change means choosing to grow and develop continuously. Failing to grow is failing to live.

Saying Thank You

Zig Ziglar

US President Theodore Roosevelt was founder of the Bull Moose Party, the man who led his troops up San Juan Hill in the Spanish-American War, a big game hunter, family man, civic servant and a host of other things.

His life story indicates that he was not only an extraordinarily successful man, but surely one of the busiest and best organized ever. However, with all of his "busy-ness" . . . he still retained some of those human qualities that made him so successful.

For example, he never forgot to thank others who did things for him. On his whistle-stop tours during his campaign trips, he always left his private car to thank the engineer and fireman for a safe and comfortable trip. True, it took only a few minutes of his time, but when your minutes are so few, they are quite important. He felt that those minutes were well invested and he enjoyed meeting the people who had served him so well. In the process he made friends for life. Doing simple little things endeared Roosevelt to people all across America, which certainly was a significant reward for the few minutes it took him to say thank you.

Someone once said that you could always tell a "big" man by the way he treated a "little" man. By that yardstick alone you would have to agree that Theodore Roosevelt was a "big" man.

Message: Take time to be kind and to say "thank you."

The Question That Can Radically Change Your Marriage

Steve Kroening

What if I told you there's one simple question you can ask your spouse every day that would completely change your relationship for the better? If your marriage is lukewarm at best, asking your spouse this question could add new life and vitality to your relationship.

Wives, imagine if your husband came walking through the door after returning from a tough day at work and, after the usual greetings, asked you this: "Honey, what can I do for you that would make your day?"

Then, once you picked your jaw up off the floor, imagine being able to tell him that one thing that would make your day better—and then seeing him drop everything to do it.

Husbands, how incredible would it be to have your wife call you at the office and ask, "Honey, what can I do for you that would make your day?"

The trouble with this question is that it's simple to ask, but sometimes following through on the request is difficult. Your spouse could ask you to do that one thing you dread more than anything else. Or he or she could ask you to do something that's not very pleasant, it may hurt you, or it might ruin your day to do it. It might cause you to be vulnerable in ways you don't want to consider.

But imagine how your spouse will feel when you've done it. Just today I asked my spouse this question. She was gentle with me and said, "Oh, I just love it when you take care of the kids so I can take a shower in peace." So guess what I'm doing tonight? You got it. Playing with the kids. Now, not only do I get the joy of playing with the kids, but I also get the joy of knowing that my wife is happy, too.

The question can go beyond marital relationships. You can ask your kids this question. You might want to put some ground rules in place before they answer, though. For instance, it can't involve money, etc. But when your kids get the opportunity to ask you to do something, it will make their day. My kids, who are still young, usually ask me to play something with them.

Before you ask, make sure your mind is set on doing whatever they ask, no matter how hard it is for you. Obviously, unethical and immoral things are off limits. But, otherwise, it's a great test to see how willing you are to serve your spouse.

One final note: Don't give your spouse a guilt trip for telling you what will make his or her day. Don't say, "OK, I'll do it if you really want me to." Just do it with a cheerful heart. After all, you asked for it.

Plenty of Nothing

The Washington Post

The vast majority of magazine stories are about something. Finally, Discover, the science magazine, has published an article about nothing. It's called "20 Things You Didn't Know About Nothing" and it reveals that, to paraphrase the old song, we've got plenty of nothing.

"There is vastly more nothing than something," writes LeeAundra Temescu. "Roughly 74 percent of the universe is 'nothing,' or what physicists call dark energy; 22 percent is dark matter, particles we cannot see. Only 4 percent is baryonic matter, the stuff we call something. . . . There is more and more nothing every second. In 1998 astronomers measuring the expansion of the universe determined that dark energy is pushing apart the universe at an ever-accelerating speed. The discovery of nothing—and its ability to influence the fate of the cosmos—is considered the most important astronomical finding of the past decade."

Wow! Nothing really is something, isn't it?

Tired of potholes? Do what the ants do...

WASHINGTON (Reuters)—Army ants tired of potholes take one for the team, throwing their bodies into rough spots to make a smoother road for their sisters, British researchers reported on Sunday.

They found that army ants of Central and South America match their own bodies to the size of the hole they want to plug. Several may plunge together to fill in bigger holes, they report in the journal Animal Behaviour.

Scott Powell and Nigel Franks of the University of Bristol studied an army ant species called Eciton burchellii, which march across the forests of Central and South America in swarms of up to 200,000.

These raiders always remain connected to the nest by a trail of other ants. But this highway of living ants can be extremely uneven as it passes over leaves and branches on the forest floor.

So a few of the ants climb into the dips to make a smooth road.

"When it comes to rapid road repairs, the ants have their own do-it-yourself highways agency," Franks said in a statement.

"When the traffic has passed, the down-trodden ants climb out of the potholes and follow their nest mates home," Powell added.

"Broadly, our research demonstrates that a simple but highly specialized behavior performed by a minority of ant workers can improve the performance of the majority, resulting in a clear benefit for the society as a whole."

"I think every road user who has ever inwardly cursed as their vehicle bounced across a pothole—jarring every bone in their body—will identify with this story," said Franks.